A woman who had always aspired to have a large family has explained why her viewpoint changed over time and she is now opting to stop after just one child.
When Maria Golikova was younger she dreamed of being married having at least three kids and residing in a beautiful house. However everything changed after she became a mother eleven years ago, and she came to the realization that being a fairytale wasn’t really her dream.
Golikova remarked, “On the one hand, becoming a mother was the most significant and joyful event of my life, and the kind of love that opened up in me is very hard to put into words.” However, this was accompanied by persistent anxiety, insomnia, and a variety of thoughts and fears I was going through the happiest and most difficult time of my life during the first few years of motherhood.
One of Golikova’s friends became a mother around the same time that she welcomed her son Golikova remembers an eye-opening moment when her friend insisted that she didn’t want any more children during their conversation.
In fact, it made Golikova realize that she didn’t have to have any more children if she didn’t want to, and that changing your mind is totally acceptable Golikova was able to talk to her 40-year-old husband, Igor, about her feelings after changing her perspective. She was incredibly appreciative of his compassion and understanding.
“Having more kids worries me a lot. Some of them are extremely personal and have to do with both our family’s financial status and my physical and mental health In addition, the world we live in is unstable. My feelings and experience naturally play a major part in that decision because my husband is aware of the heavy emotional and mental burden I bear as a mother,” Golikova stated.
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Golikova found it liberating to finally accept her desires. She no longer experiences outside pressure to have more kids, and it no longer affects her if others question her decision. She is confident in her choice because she has realized that no one knows her life better than herself.
Golikova and her husband can devote themselves fully to their 11-year-old son because they only have one child. The millennial mother, who claims that her son is happy being an only child and has never requested a sibling, is incredibly appreciative of every second she spends with him.
Golikova listed nine reasons why she doesn’t want to have more children: the majority of the parenting load falls on her she is overly responsible; she experiences constant anxiety; she fears having a child with special needs; she worries about the impact on her physical health the financial cost of having more children; she doesn’t receive assistance from family; the overwhelming responsibility of parenting and, finally, she doesn’t want to affect the bond she has with her son.
Golikova was surprised by the overwhelming response to the video on the internet, which showed her how much her message appeals to other parents. She was “honestly surprised by the favorable response,” she told Newsweek and she hopes it will only help other parents who are dealing with similar issues.
“Thousands of women told me they felt the same way Golikova stated. Many also claimed that reading it made them realize they don’t have to live up to society’s expectations and that they can be honest about who they are what their circumstances are, and whether or not they actually want children as well as how many.
“I know a lot of women who decided to have children because of their idealized perception of themselves, rather than because they really wanted to. I would advise you to stop observing what other people are doing and to just listen to yourself. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Live your life as you see fit.
